I watched I

..and it looks like I have to get these thoughts out of my system.

  • The Virginity Test is still in vogue: From Kadhalan (1994) to I (2015), the worthiness of women can be found out by this method. The test can be performed in secret as well.
  • Magical realism: Lee and Diya playing Wii tennis and cooking, in a house surrounded by a flower garden (also built/grown by them). I found it laughable and had no good will for that scene, though it was probably put in to make us feel better about a love that goes beyond physical appearances, and also to remind us of the magic of movies. What it did remind me of was an article I read in The Onion: “Parents accepting of mixed-attractiveness relationship”. If you think about it, such an article could really be news instead of a farce, for we still routinely hear mothers telling their boys “If only you had let me look for a bride, I would have found someone fair (and lovely)”, and girls ask their boyfriends to do what Harsha Bhogle did a few years ago, the only reason being they cannot take home a balding man as a potential life partner.
  • An insipid love story on offer: We could not care less if Diya genuinely loves Lee or if she was merely devising a ploy to get a bigger modelling contract.
  • Departure from “correcting society” to “disfiguring individuals”: I prefer the former.
  • Tourist brochures for Red Seabeach and Li River: I would like to quote my cousin here: “If all they wanted to do was film a song by a lake, they could have gone to Kodaikanal”.
  • Some jokes that make you uncomfortable, whether you watch the movie alone or with your mother: making idlis in bra cups, repeated references to Lee hoarding sanitary napkin packs as Diya models for one such brand, Lee fainting upon seeing Diya in a bikini and subsequently her being covered with a blanket, portrayal of a transgender make-up artist as a deranged lover, journalist-Santhanam making fun of the villains after their transformation is effected. (Were these jokes funny or did the audience force themselves to laugh?)
  • The most predictable twist post-interval: If the big reveal regarding the paedophile-doctor came as a big surprise to you, then that is the only moment of genuine hilarity I offered me.
  • Heartburn: There is a forward doing the rounds now. Man at the beginning of I: IIIIIIIIIII!!!!!! Man during interval: I(O) Man during climax: I(I)(O) Myself exiting a mall after having paid more than twice the price of the movie ticket to park a five year old scooter in the basement: I(I)(O)(O)(O)

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