I am a ticking time bomb. If you dropped in unannounced, you would think a great tragedy befell our house. A tragic drama is well underway here; there is plenty of opportunity for lead and supporting roles, to be played with confidence by family members. You see, this is my twenty fifth year of existence, and I have not agreed to having awkward conversations with same-caste-strangers approved by parents. Of course, the cast will be introduced.
There is The Parental Unit, whose most important task is to show me the errors of my way, collect information on my contemporaries who have chosen the right way, alternate between complaining to, seeking comfort from, and/or ignoring relatives. Then there is The Ailing Grandmother Who Is Fond Of Her Granddaughter. Her most popular line would have to be: I don’t know how much longer I will live. Next, we have Assorted Uncles and Aunts who make it their duty to pose uncomfortable questions at family events with surprising sensitivity: So when are you opening her file? (as though I were a life insurance policy about to expire) or Why are you waiting for her to say yes? (surely it must come as a shock that consent was required). We must include The Relatives From U.S.A Who Put In An Appearance Once Every Two Years to offer their advice (unasked) about getting married. Other characters include Married Acquaintances who love to ask: What are you waiting for? and who waste no time in telling you Get married while you can still look good in your wedding pictures; Family Friends Who Advertise Their Nephews-With-Work-Permits-For-Foreign-Countries; Ladies You Do Not Know But Who Have Qualified Sons And Who Know Your Date Of Birth, Random Adults Who Advise You Against Wasting Your Youth And Your Best Looking Years.
I must either be the most unfeeling person you will ever meet, or a feminist (who is best defined as a woman having too much time and too many ambitions for her own good, to be treated with the same level of contempt one would accord a door to door salesman for products you have no use for). Though in these parts, most people would tell you, being insensitive is a far lesser crime than having ideas.