Of late, I am beginning to believe I should either be male or get married. If I were male, I would be enjoying many freedoms by default (this needs no repeating). However, recent developments have also brought to light the notion of “But she is married.”
It is understood that there are certain things I will not (or should not) do, so long as I live with my parents. To name a few: getting a tattoo, colouring my hair or cutting it really short, travelling alone, going out with male friends on their (or my) two-wheelers, drinking and partying, staying out late, working and/or studying*, having pets (!). Funnily enough, all these actions seem to be viewed as acceptable when a married girl does them.
What is the explanation behind this?
- Is it because I will no longer be under my parents’ jurisdiction?
- The precinct I report to will be headed by my husband, whose approval is paramount (overriding the approval of parents at every stage). This way, I can share pictures of myself with a tall glass of margarita, or get a tattoo on my lower back, or suddenly sport purple hair, or go on a solo trip – if I have been permitted by my husband to do so, surely it cannot be questioned.
- If I am married, I am automatically accorded respect that was until then lacking. It is understood that I am responsible (because I agreed to getting married remember?), and therefore I can be entrusted with any of the activities previously considered “immoral.”
Apparently, we can live anywhere in the world, but we will never stop thinking the honour of a family rests with the girl’s conduct outside her home.
*This is complex. For instance, I can study, but not study too much. That is, stop with a post-graduate course, don’t start a doctorate. I believe my reproductive system will fail by the time I complete my doctorate, or I will be at that level in life which has no name yet (Beyond Expired). Also, I can work, but not work too far from home. I can move out of my house, but be reachable by road within the same day, or be willing to move back any time.
At times, I feel an inordinate sense of pride. After all, I tolerate so much bullshit every single day. Somebody needs to build a statue in my honour on the Marina promenade. 😀