Exit

We smile, we attempt forced gaiety. “Go ahead please,” we say to those behind us. We watch as they run to security check, dragging bags, taking off their jackets. We make salty promises.

Love isn’t practical like the government’s scrap of paper that decides itineraries. I have to go now.


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20 thoughts on “Exit

  1. Fantastic flash fiction.
    The “I have to go now” phrase acquired a kind of quiet poignancy, something that is remarkable given the economy of words in this piece.
    As an aside, I really liked the use of the word, “gaiety.”
    Wonderfully done!

    Like

  2. I love the way the cheerful mood of the opening takes a turn for the darker and more poignant without ever coming out and overexplaining what a careful read will yield. Watch out for words like “salty” though – I think you wanted the reader’s understanding to change to “tearful” on re-read, and it does, but as a slang term it comes through as “vulgar or rude” the first time, which doesn’t really match up with the rest of the piece!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s not common where I am either but a bunch of my Canadian friends use it all the time. When I’m about to generate my own metaphor, sometimes I doublecheck the dictionary to make sure the word I’m sneaking in doesn’t have a really awkward slang term attached.

        Liked by 1 person

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